Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
