Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
