WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize