Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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