That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
