At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
