The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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