sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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