My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
