chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
