Dual....:-)
that's an acceptable place to lick
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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