There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
