So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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