Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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