Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
