He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
