you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
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You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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