Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize