Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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