from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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