Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
