he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
