Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
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It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
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He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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