Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
