Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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