well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
