the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
