how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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