so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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