i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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