dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
