Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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