I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
