I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
