I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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