I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
tell me about the fingering
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize