like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
