She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize