Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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