I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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