She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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