Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
