mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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