He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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