I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
