Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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