He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
