So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
