I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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