You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Randomize
