life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
