Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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