apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
