And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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