He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
This is classic penis vs brain.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
