I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
