You're a womanizer and a bitch.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
