Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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