Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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