they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
