Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
