Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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