a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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